i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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