So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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