Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
