You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
