I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
