I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
