Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
