.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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