problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
