OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
