He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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