those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
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So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
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everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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