God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
