My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
