Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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