Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
