Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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