I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
