I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
