Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
