no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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