if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
youre lurking in front of me
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
