Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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