If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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