things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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