i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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