dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
