i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
