Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
