idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
