The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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