guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
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if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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