ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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