Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
