im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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