she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
