everyone is single if you try hard enough
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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