yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
