he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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