No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i think my tv is drunk
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
