my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
