butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper