whats a polygalesbian?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
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threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
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He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
its like you know when i get waxed