sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
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