Texts From Last Night

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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Why are you ignoring all of my texts?

  (1-765): View more from Indiana

  The power was out.

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  (765): Why are you ignoring all of my texts? (1-765): The power was out. http://tfl.nu/9x7x
  Replies (17) Good night (1399) Bad night (4304)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.

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  (781): i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up. http://tfl.nu/navv
  Replies (12) Good night (4855) Bad night (847)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better

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  (215): We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better http://tfl.nu/6zww
  Replies (9) Good night (4232) Bad night (890)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.

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  (843): You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield. http://tfl.nu/umxp
  Replies (20) Good night (7575) Bad night (1392)
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  (209): View more from California

  Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?

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  (209): Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on? http://tfl.nu/ru4x
  Replies (20) Good night (3797) Bad night (1496)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.

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  (724): You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame. http://tfl.nu/zyq0
  Replies (14) Good night (2041) Bad night (3136)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.

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  (636): I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss. (314): Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call. http://tfl.nu/9b26
  Replies (4) Good night (997) Bad night (2831)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.

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  (804): Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster. http://tfl.nu/ns19
  Replies (10) Good night (3771) Bad night (1228)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles

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  (816): My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles http://tfl.nu/kz93
  Replies (21) Good night (922) Bad night (3060)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.

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  (406): I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price. http://tfl.nu/xxnk
  Replies (8) Good night (3340) Bad night (580)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.

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  (218): His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely. http://tfl.nu/zmgf
  Replies (5) Good night (917) Bad night (417)
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  (707): View more from California

  because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.

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  (707): because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie. http://tfl.nu/erv7
  Replies (1) Good night (714) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front

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  (770): It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front http://tfl.nu/bbjx
  Replies (1) Good night (905) Bad night (460)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.

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  (518): I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen. http://tfl.nu/2oin
  Replies (6) Good night (927) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!

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  (630): I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend. (419): You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED! http://tfl.nu/6dil
  Replies (3) Good night (906) Bad night (547)

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