That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.