how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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