Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.

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(715): Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/2g9l

Replies (28) Good night (1209) Bad night (3961)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system

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(608): buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system http://tfl.nu/p1zb

Replies (8) Good night (2806) Bad night (600)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.

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(610): it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me. http://tfl.nu/3ypx

Replies (27) Good night (1212) Bad night (11350)
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(518): View more from New York

his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"

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(518): his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed" http://tfl.nu/g8fj

Replies (22) Good night (2639) Bad night (4950)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.

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(724): I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move... (412): Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am. http://tfl.nu/4pbg

Replies (13) Good night (5516) Bad night (1640)
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(309): View more from Illinois

Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door

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(309): Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door http://tfl.nu/czgy

Replies (8) Good night (1319) Bad night (3313)
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(913): View more from Kansas

They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.

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(913): They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this. http://tfl.nu/muxl

Replies (7) Good night (3605) Bad night (1081)
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.

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(225): I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up. http://tfl.nu/8v67

Replies (6) Good night (1477) Bad night (1091)
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(904): View more from Florida

If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.

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(904): If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day. http://tfl.nu/6nok

Replies (8) Good night (1580) Bad night (995)
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(315): View more from New York

Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?

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(315): Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room? http://tfl.nu/jfto

Replies (10) Good night (1713) Bad night (572)
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(313): View more from Michigan

At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.

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(313): At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday. http://tfl.nu/fpxj

Replies (4) Good night (1448) Bad night (491)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.

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(724): If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant. http://tfl.nu/s61d

Replies (1) Good night (1227) Bad night (391)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.

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(215): I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that. http://tfl.nu/79sp

Replies (5) Good night (915) Bad night (284)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket

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(+44): you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket http://tfl.nu/sq21

Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (370)
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(925): View more from California

I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.

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(925): I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time. http://tfl.nu/8l0a

Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (273)

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