hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I have tasted many bathrooms
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up