no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize