i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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