When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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