we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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