it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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