Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
