Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
