I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
