so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
not ubering you a puppy
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
