i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
