we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
