I'm really into asian looking animals
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize