whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
