I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
