Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
