Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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